Writing’s a funny beast isn’t it? Some days the urge to get things down is so strong I end up writing thousands of words. Other days not a drop of inspiration or motivation is there and the document remains unsullied. This last few months it’s been the latter that’s inhabited my world.
Apart from a few rushed pieces scribbled in my notebook I’ve not written seriously, these when I look back weren’t great and were more to do with my mood when I sketched the ideas out. I’ve written a few book reviews and blog posts but nothing creative. I find other ways to put off the actual task of writing the stories in my head. Is this writers block?
What is writers block? I don’t know, I really don’t. What I have is a lack of motivation, or is it my anxiety stopping me sitting down and writing. Do I worry about what people will think of me? Is it I’m afraid I’ll never be good enough? I mean I never want to really be published do I? Then I’ll be laying myself open to being judged. Most of me doesn’t like that idea, a little of me does, wants to find out what people really think, however bad it might be.
So there it is really my depression and anxiety stop me from pushing forward and writing. It’s not writers block, it’s my own mind that’s clamping down on me writing. I’m scared that what’s in my head will come out in words, not as good as the thoughts in my head. Not sure how I’ll get around this, maybe I won’t for the moment. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up with more of a purpose in life and the words will flow again.
Until then I’ll continue to set the plots in my head, I’ll imagine the scenes and the drama in the hope that tomorrow is that day.
Thanks for reading 🙂